All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
