is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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