so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
