Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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