We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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