My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Randomize