kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
