I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize