If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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