So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
