she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
