We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
