its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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