loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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