In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
