you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
