this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
