Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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