operation harelip BJ is a go
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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