i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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