chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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