I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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