I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That was an excessively violent trivia night
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
