I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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