i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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