Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
