Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
