elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
