i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
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You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
how does that bad decision feel?
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