i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
