the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
