You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
