so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize