it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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