So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
