Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
