The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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