That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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