i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
