Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
