this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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