They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
