capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
