he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
