remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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