whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
