he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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