What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
