yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
