I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We have started to decorate penises.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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