The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
