Screwed.edu
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
