Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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