i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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