It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Your dad touched me again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
