The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
