i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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