Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
