I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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