I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I need water and some morals
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
