ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she smelled like a LAN party
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Randomize
