I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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