I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize