I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize